[dropcap type=”2″]C[/dropcap]ommitment. Oh boy. I am probably the LAST person in the world to dare write something on commitment. My hope is that only a select few read this post so that I am not jeered in the streets of Seattle and have tomatoes thrown my way.

Of course I’m being dramatic. But still, commitment is not an easy topic to broach for me, as many women in my past would attest.

But I would quickly respond that I HAVE been committed, and always will be committed… well, to somethings. But enough about me (don’t want this to get too far).

Commitment is your choice…

This is an important topic because whatever you’re committed to essentially determines your quality of life (or lack thereof).

And that’s pretty important.

I remember listening to Les Brown say these words, and they always stuck in my mind.

“However you spend your time shows what you’re committed to…”

That’s a big ouch for a lot of people.

Some are more committed to TV, some to video games, some to working for someone else in a job they don’t really like, some devote their lives solely to their children forgetting all about themselves in the process, and we could go on and on and on.

The point I’m making is that people everywhere have something they are committed to. Passionately or passively, people are committed to something.

The question is, what are you committed to?

When you look at your life, you will see the results of what you’ve been committed to all this time. And if you love it, then you know you’re committed to the “right” things.

However you spend your time shows what you’re committed to…

And if not, then pick something else to be committed to, otherwise you will find yourself committed to OTHER people’s causes, businesses, lives, or whatever.

And that’s no no good, because then people are more than happy to command you to do their bidding….


I never really cared for the Ten Commandments growing up. I was supremely satisfied when Jesus came along and said, and I’m paraphrasing, “Look, we don’t need all ten, just a couple. Focus on these two and you’re all good.”

And I’m all for less commandments, but this never stopped the adults in my life from placing their orders. This excludes my parents for the most part. They were just not the type to order me around.

My dad, being the quirky, eccentric character he is, allowed me to become whomever I wanted. Just don’t step on anyone’s toes… or my own. So my parents were probably less demanding than a lot of people I’ve come across.

And growing up this way led me into some interesting situations…

I distinctly remember being kicked out of class, quite a few times, or having to “excuse” myself for innumerable reasons due to conflict with students or teachers.

In adulthood, I was probably just as defiant if I felt someone was attempting to control me, but I slowly began to understand why they were doing what they were doing.

I was guilty of this, too, in prior relationships. Seeing this controlling side in me was so disturbing that it was life changing. My experience sure made it a whole lot easier to observe this behavior in others.

The thought of being ordered or commanded by someone else, or even controlling others is very unappealing to me. Who wants to be forced or controlled by someone else? Even in a passive, slick way? Not me… well, maybe sometimes I won’t mind 🙂

Through confusion or ignorance, we may not realize that we ALWAYS have options, and that we can freely choose something or someone else.

Fear naturally arises from a state of ‘not knowing’, and from this place of fear we may find ourselves in situations and circumstances that just plain suck.

And for some, being in a terrible place is better than not knowing. As the saying goes, some would rather have a “known hell, than an unknown heaven.” Or something like that.

If you find yourself in a situation or relationship that is ‘commanding’, demanding, or controlling, and you don’t want that anymore, then I have something really important to share with you.

A SOLUTION for the “oppressed”

If you find yourself being oppressed by a boss, boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, parents, teachers, politicians, whatever, then remember this:


And when people don’t have their own COMMITMENTS, they tend to follow other people’s COMMANDMENTS.

Can you imagine trying to follow more than ten commandments? How about twelve? Or fifteen?? Ugh.

To be free of an oppressive, controlling relationship of any kind, then take time to form your own commitments.

A commandment is always from the outside. It feels pushy by nature, even controlling. Again, some may allow themselves to be controlled because they may be confused, ignorant of their options, or afraid. But remember this:

“You can’t escape a prison if you don’t know you’re in one.”

The Ultimate Life Strategy

Now, a commitment is something you initiate. It’s proactive. It’s your choice. Your commitments are your life strategy, your moral and spiritual compass.

Everyone needs a compass on the sea of life, and wouldn’t you prefer YOUR compass, rather than someone else’s?

Everyone has something that they’re committed to.

If you don’t know what they are, then think about them. Think about the general direction you want your life to go. Think about it idealistically.

Your commitments will guide you there, because committing to something or someone along with your current use of time are practically synonymous.

In other words, what do you want to create, and what must you commit to in order to realize your vision?

Paul’s 8 Life Commitments

If you don’t know where to start, that’s ok.


Find and commit to something or someone that serves you today, if you haven’t already.

And remember, when someone is ordering you around, or you feel oppressed, suppressed, or depressed, ask yourself one question:

What am I committed to right now?

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