“Can I have $150?”
“For a diamond ring. It’s healing me.”
(I think for a moment, before speaking)
I don’t have a $150 to give you right now.
“How much can you give me?”
Whatever’s in my wallet.
(I reach in and grab every bill and hand it to her)Here mom.
(She counts it slowly, deliberately.)
Exit mom. Empty wallet in hand, I think about my mother. Despite her mental illness, she always finds a way to share something valuable with me.
For my mother, at this stage of her life, I’m not surprised that she believes a diamond ring could heal her. I see this kind of thinking from people everyday.
If I had a job, then I’d be good…
If I had a man/woman, then life would be fulfilling again…
If I won the lottery, then I could tell my boss to kiss my [insert body part here] and I can live an awesome life.
And yet, the person who gets the job, loses it months later.
The relationship that begins, soon ends.
The lottery winner squanders it all, and wonders, what happened? — as they begin looking for another job.
Nothing wrong with this kind of thinking. The person who gets the job IS good – for a moment.
I’m sure the person who wants to be in a relationship badly would experience fulfillment – for a moment.
The lottery winner gets to tell their boss off and live an awesome life gets to experience that – for a moment.
Mom is stubborn and persistent. If she wants a diamond ring, she will have it, despite her physical and mental limitations. Nothing will stand in her way.
And I’m sure, she will experience healing – for a moment – maybe even longer, if the placebo is strong enough – but it won’t last.
If there’s anything meditation taught me (experientially, not theoretically), is that:
no moment lasts.
It’s here and gone, just like that. Through meditation, I got to experience this phenomenon happening throughout my entire body.
Practicing meditation for long periods of time is a transformational experience, perhaps because the meditator gets to experience CHANGE as it happens from moment to moment, so the meditator naturally changes as a result.
Change. It’s here, now. You don’t have to wait for it. Expect it.
When you get your ‘thing’, whatever it is, that feeling WILL go away. This too, shall pass.
Nothing in the universe is permanent. Nothing.
So what will you do when your moment is gone? What happens when you get to your mountain top? What will you do then?
Unfortunately, mom will find this out sooner or later: diamonds are NOT forever.
…oh yes it will…